Why Unlearning Was the Most Important Entrepreneurial Lesson I Learned

I remember the night I conceptualized Virtue Key Consulting Group. I was watching Dancing with the Stars and had my daughter in one hand and my laptop in the other drafting and creating a business that would change the game for organizations in performance, talent, and leadership development. When I launched my business, I assumed my biggest challenge would be learning how to run a company. I was thinking about everything: marketing, business development, invoicing, taxes, and everything in between.

What I did not expect was that some of my most important lessons in building my consultancy would require me to unlearn beliefs I carried from my years as an employee in the corporate world.

The most significant shift was not operational. It was personal. Looking back, I compare it to therapy, but for my business.

Years ago, when I was exploring what entrepreneurship could look like for me, I spent countless hours learning and researching. As an award-winning global learning and development professional, it was natural for me to analyze every angle of what I was building and envision a business larger than myself.

I invested in books, took masterclasses, and watched my favorite business leaders on YouTube share their own journeys and the risks they took to get there.

Even though the work I had done prior to filing my LLC was important, what I truly needed was to look at myself in the mirror. What I ultimately learned is that our biggest breakthroughs often come from letting go of beliefs that no longer serve us.

Looking back at my own journey, three lessons transformed how I lead, make decisions, and define success.

Unlearning how to think like an employee when my business required me to think like an owner.

Over 15 years, I built my career across startups, private equity-backed organizations, and public companies by delivering results, supporting organizational goals, and helping leaders solve complex performance & talent management challenges. Those experiences shaped me and prepared me to operate inside complex organizations.

For those who build a business based on their corporate expertise like myself, one lesson becomes clear: success in corporate and success in entrepreneurship require different muscles.

As an employee, I focused on helping organizations solve their most pressing challenges. As a business owner, I had to learn how to communicate why my company was uniquely positioned to solve those challenges. Expertise mattered, but so did visibility, relationships, and trust.

I had to stop waiting to be recognized and start intentionally building a brand that reflected who I am, what I believe, and how I serve others.

Personal branding was not about self-promotion. It was about helping people understand the challenges I solve and the impact I strive to create.

I had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Since I could not afford to hire PR representation, I represented myself instead of feeling defeated. I sat at my computer early in the morning, often wearing a cooling charcoal face mask, pitching myself to national podcasts, industry organizations, and events where I could amplify my reach.

And guess what? It worked.

Instead of waiting to be recognized, I did what I could to get the word out about Virtue Key.

As entrepreneurs, we have to remember that we are often our own biggest advocates.

That shift changed everything.

Unlearning that doing more creates better results.

I believed for too long that hard work was the answer to every challenge.

When I went full force into my business after my position was eliminated, I was scared. In my mind, I needed to land a client fast.

When something was not working, I began to question myself. My instinct was to do more. More meetings. More busy work. More effort.

Over time, I learned that activity and impact are not the same thing.

The businesses that grow are not always the ones doing the most. They are often the ones focused on solving the right problems. I needed to build a system and focus on solving the challenges that mattered most to potential clients.

Instead of asking, “What else can I add?” I started asking, “What will create the greatest impact?” Then, I created a system around it.

That question helped me become more intentional with my time, energy, and resources. It also improved the quality of my decisions.

I cut out anything that distracted me and audited everything. Does the content I put out match my overall message and branding? Does it connect to my ideal client? Does it help solve the problem I am here to solve?

Unlearning that success is measured only by achievement.

For a long time throughout my career, I treated success like a scoreboard. Every speaking opportunity and professional accomplishment became proof that I was moving in the right direction. I kept setting personal goals, reaching them, and immediately creating new ones.

Then one day I realized I was spending more time chasing the next achievement than appreciating the impact I was already making. I never took the time to sit with those accomplishments and celebrate the wins.

Somewhere along the way, success had become a moving target.

Ambition has served me well throughout my career and entrepreneurial journey. The problem was believing that achievement alone could tell the whole story.

Building a business from the ground up, I began asking different questions. Was I creating meaningful change for the leaders and organizations I serve? Was I building relationships rooted in trust? Was I creating a business that reflected my values and the legacy I want to leave behind?

Those questions expanded my definition of success.

Today, I still celebrate achievements, but I no longer allow them to determine my worth. Success is no longer measured only by what I have accomplished. It is measured by the impact I have created, the people I have helped grow, and the organizations I have had the privilege to serve.

As you reflect on your own entrepreneurial journey, consider this question: What belief helped you succeed in one season of business but may be limiting your growth in the next?

Sometimes the lesson that changes everything is not what you learn. It is what you are willing to unlearn.