Here for the Good and the Bad: Rethinking Your Relationship With Your Doctor

This past summer I hosted two undergraduate student interns, each with their own respective project suited to their interests and declared majors. One was a psychology major, so her project was to map the patient experience, identify where patients would fall off the schedule, and document the inferred reason. What she found was that patients fell into one of two buckets: They either felt well enough or they weren’t getting better, each with no perceived value in continued care.

It is important to reinforce the idea that healing isn’t a linear process; sometimes there can be two steps forward and one step backward, and this should be expected to some degree. While completely opposing reasons, both patient subtypes deserve intentional reassessment before simply disappearing from care; one to reinforce how well they’re doing, and the other to reconsider the plan. Finding and maintaining a relationship with a valued care provider is much more than being available for a sick visit.

Understanding the patient journey matters

Just before my intern embarked on her project, I had already forged these ideas in my head, “How do we create a structure that helps patients move toward their goals while identifying barriers, concerns, lack of progress, or unwanted effects early enough to respond?” This morphed into program- and membership-based care that includes many of a patient’s needs: appointments, supplements, and access to their provider(s).

While the number of patients hasn’t increased, the quality has. On average, for every nine patients on membership or program-based care, only one drops off. When a prospective patient understands the financial investment they are making in their health, there is a greater interest in participating, increasing the likelihood of their overall success.

No two patients require the same level of intervention

Ongoing care with a provider is largely dictated by the level of intervention and accountability a patient needs. Every patient’s entry point will be different and require varying levels of support. I work mostly with high-achieving women and/or mothers of younger children, which means accountability to their peers and children is the mainstay, but what about creating enough structure that their own health doesn't perpetually fall to the bottom of the list?

This is why there is never a “perfect time” to prioritize one’s health, but rather the plan that can meet the needs of a patient where they’re at in life right now; otherwise, we’ll forever be in search of the perfect moment that may never come, while our health concerns continue to grow.

Your provider should walk alongside you and your health journey

The landscape of U.S. healthcare in 2026 has created circumstances where we must be active participants in our health. Patients can participate more meaningfully in their care when they understand what they're working toward and why.

The next time you go to a doctor’s appointment, go prepared with a list of questions. You don’t have to know the medical terminology or arrive with every answer. Start with questions that help you and your provider understand what you’re working toward together:

1. What are we working toward, and how will we know we’re making progress?.
2. How does each part of this plan connect to those goals?
3. What should I pay attention to between appointments, and what should prompt me to contact you sooner?
4. If I’m feeling better, or if nothing has changed, what will our next appointment help us decide?
5. Given the demands of my life right now, what should I prioritize first?

These questions can reveal what your provider can help you accomplish, where your priorities overlap, and where another type of support may be useful. This doesn't mean firing your doctor altogether; it means finding a comprehensive care team that can meet your needs and help you achieve your goals together.

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