Got Conviction? The #1 Quality Fierce Women Leaders Need

I am taken aback by how many powerful women entrepreneurs, leaders, and visionaries are operating from a scarcity mindset. I see them falling into a simple yet profound trap that undermines the quality leaders need most: conviction.

Conviction is what separates the leaders who make their impact and move their missions forward from those who do not. And it is our responsibility and privilege to protect and nurture our conviction.

The mindset trap stealing your conviction

This is the mindset trap I see countless women leaders fall into: You believe something outside you will interfere with your current success, happiness, and contentment. It's an external variable dependency: You depend on external variables for your internal wellbeing, and it poisons your success, growth, impact, and happiness.

This mindset trap blocks you from feeling happy and from expressing the truth of how good things are right now. It also stops you from going for it, striving for, and reaching the next levels of success. If you're always looking outside of yourself for signs that you're doing the right thing, can you fully embrace the joy and success you deserve? No. You're too focused on what what might come along and ruin it.

What you need to be a leader, right now and always, is to be steadfast in your conviction of what you are here on this earth to do. Yet I see brilliant women leaders, visionaries, and entrepreneurs let these five factors impact their conviction:

You need a divorce (from your expectations)

First, you must let go of your expectations. And for women leaders, it's often silent expectations that kill us the most.

The origin point of disappointment and frustration is your own chosen expectations, whether you realize it or not. You're the one who's creating those expectations! You're the problem… and the solution.

Imagine how you would feel if you released your expectations and fell in love with the process. What if instead you relished that moment of service, leadership, and transforming people's lives? What if you stayed in the conviction of the impact you are here to make?

One time I was delivering a workshop, and I wanted 50 people in the room. I rented an event hall, made workbooks, got catering, and 20 people showed up. There were extra seats, extra food, extra workbooks, and you know what? The event was phenomenal.

But if I’d been attached to the lack of 30 people, I wouldn't have shown up for the 20 who were there. If you're attached to your expectations, you're not in your conviction. When your mind, focus, and attention are on what you don't have, it affects how you show up for the beautiful humans who said yes to you.

If you're disappointed in the number of attendees at your workshop or a team member's performance, it's because you're depending on an external variable. That's it. It's hilariously simple, yet everyone who has not done their inner mindset work falls prey to this frustration.

What matters is THIS: Showing up with conviction that your impact will reach the exact right number of people at the exact right moment they need it. If it's three people on your webinar when you wanted 15, well, those three are going to experience a massive transformation from working with you. And the best part? They are the ones who needed it the most; that's why they were there.

Are you waiting for the other shoe to drop (There is no such thing)

I was on a call with a client when she said, "I'm doing great, and it makes me feel like something bad is about to happen… like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Wow. Are you waiting for the other shoe to drop, too?

This happens to so many brilliant women: You want to enjoy your impact and your success, but you're afraid that if you get too present, the other shoe is going to drop. You're afraid that if you open your arms to take it all in, something will take it away from you, as if something external can!

How does this get in the way of your conviction? It makes you second-guess the truth that you control your inner environment. It blocks you from receiving your success reflected back to you. It stops you from noticing the abundance, opportunities, and love around you.

Remember that the outside does not create the inside. Nothing outside can "make" you feel anything. Ever. Does this require practice? Absolutely!

It starts with taking radical personal responsibility for your mindset. It starts with understanding that you create your experience, and your response to anything that comes your way. Waiting for the other shoe to drop makes no sense at this level of self-agency.

It's high time for a new paradigm of failure (The current one sucks)

Once upon a time, someone took action and intended for something to happen. It didn't go that way, and he called it "failure." Failure is when something doesn't go the way you intended, when your expectations and reality don't match.

But our culture has warped the meaning of failure. Thanks to our culture's obsession with productivity and shame, not to mention our attachment to our expectations, the meaning of "failure" has been perverted into this: if I fail, it means there's something wrong with me. It means I'm not good enough.

That innocent idea, that sometimes things don't go the way you intended, got twisted to mean something about your worth as a person. People view failure as the ultimate external signal that you messed up, and it's time to go home.

This is FALSE. The only way to learn about yourself and to be successful by all measurements is to fail, to have things not go the way you expect.

My paradigm of failure is this: I decide what I want to do and I do it. If it goes the way I hoped, great. If it doesn’t, I gain a new data point. Either way you learn. Either way you win. Failure doesn't define who I am or determine my worth.

Fiercely protect your dreams (No one else will do it for you)

Beware: Other people will bludgeon your dreams if you let them. They don’t mean to. We tend to share our biggest dreams with people who don’t carry the same conviction we do. The people who love you naturally want to protect you from risk. Extraordinary leadership requires you to take it.

Remember, people can't see your dream the way you can, and they don't need to. External validation isn’t required when you have inner conviction. But we're like toddlers vying for our parents' attention. We want everyone to be as excited as we are and see the vision in our mind's eye.

The most loving and impactful thing you can do is to become your own source of validation. Your husband gives you the side-eye, your mother says, "That's a sweet idea, honey," your uncle asks, "Are you sure? That's not a stable industry," and your inner conviction is untouched. You've become your own stamp of approval.

Stop confusing interest with commitment (No judgment)

Making a massive impact is not a straight shot to the top. Whatever that impact is for you, whether that's a small, bustling 1:1 private practice, CEO of your tech firm, or the #1 most booked motivational female speaker, it's going to look more like the pattern on a heart rate monitor than the take-off flight pattern of an airplane.

That's why you must be committed, not interested. Because when you're interested, you'll work on it when you're in the mood. When you're committed, you show up no matter what.

The road to the top is paved with "failure" (reminder: failure is when what you intend to happen and what actually happens don't match). You won't get there unless you're committed.

Because when you're committed, you're willing to be uncomfortable. You'll do things you don't "feel like" doing. You'll show up on the days you don't feel like showing up. Commitment means believing so deeply in who you are and what you do that you move forward with the force of a freight train. You're unstoppable.

How can you tell if you're committed or interested? If I became invisible and followed you around for a week, I'd know immediately. You can do this same audit: Observe yourself. Are you faking the funk? Are you watching another Netflix series instead of creating new content, or showing up on Facebook Live, or doing something for your team?

I'm not judging whether you're interested or committed, but I want you to be honest with yourself. If you're not, you'll do that thing where you expect certain outcomes, and when they don't come, you'll be disappointed. You'll ask: Why don't I have the clients? Woe is me! That's not coming from a place of conviction.

To make your impact, reach new levels of happiness, and succeed beyond your wildest dreams, you'll need conviction. And steadfast conviction comes when you stop letting the outside impact your internal environment.

Related articles from Tracy Litt:

Why Successful Women Hit an Invisible Ceiling, and Where Strategy Runs Out‍

7 Habits of Empire-Building Women